[personal profile] ignited_spirit
"You're like a sister to me. We'll be friends forever." Emmy and I had known each other all of six months when she told me that. That is too short a period to say those words and have them come across as genuine (even when an adult says them). However, there is a sucker born every minute, and I am embarrassed to admit that I was that sucker when it came to those two statements.

Emmy and I met in our Office Administration certificate program. We were friends for a time - in school, she offered to carry my heavy backpack when I twisted my knee and was on crutches. I helped her with school work. Outside of school, we taught each other how to make our favorite recipes. We would go to the movies every so often. We would go for Ethiopian food. We swapped silly stories about our cats. I began to think that Emmy was right - that we really would be friends forever.

One event changed everything. One friendship reduced to the rubble of empty statements and promises. All in a matter of hours.

During a class presentation, one of our classmates ran from the class in tears. After class, Emmy thought it was funny that our classmate ran from the class crying. I told her that it was NOT funny. I walked away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emmy go over to the upset classmate.

All I can remember of what happened later was Emmy smirking and laughing in the background, watching while Upset Classmate and another classmate threw me against a locker, spat on me, held their fists to my face, and accused me of making fun of Upset Classmate. My pleas that I did not make fun of Upset Classmate going unnoticed. Emmy running away when I screamed for help.

I remember turning on the radio to the country station that night and hearing the song "Find Out Who Your Friends Are". I started crying. The physical pain I felt was nothing compared to the emotional pain I was feeling. I felt like a complete and utter fool. What was it about me that made me incapable of having meaningful friendships (as opposed to casual acquaintances)? Did I not learn a lesson from the last time I went through a "friend break-up"?

Fast-forward to about two months later. It was graduation day. Emmy and her husband spotted me in the crowd of people gathered at the Jack Singer Concert Hall for the ceremony. We exchanged the plastic "Hi!!!! How are you?" small talk. I saw Emmy go over to Upset Classmate. I saw them together, acting like they were best friends. I wondered if Emmy tried that same scam on her.

After the ceremony, pictures were taken. I remember Emmy's husband insisting that Emmy and I pose for one. I remember the plasticness in our smiles, the phoniness of our arms around each other. The emptiness of her parting words - she told me "I'll call you and maybe we can do lunch." The ickiness I felt in my stomach playing along with the charade yet again.

I ran into Emmy's husband a couple of days ago in the Canadian Tire parking lot. We exchanged the usual small talk, accompanied by him saying that he would tell Emmy that he saw me and that "we should all get together for Ethiopian food sometime".

Thanks, but no thanks.

Date: 2009-10-18 09:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] voicethtnvrsngs.livejournal.com
Sometimes people really do suck. *hugs* There are good people out there, the problem is that they are hard to find.

Date: 2009-10-21 01:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
*hugs* I agree with you. I hate that it can take so long to find the good people, yet we can often find the bad people quickly without even trying.
Edited Date: 2009-10-21 01:55 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-10-18 09:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angyllina.livejournal.com
Ugh! You and I are very similar in this aspect.

I do not have the ability to have a meaningful friendship.

I have a "you're like a sister to me..." in my not so distant past too and she breakup was painful as well.

Some people really just suck.

Date: 2009-10-21 01:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
Sadly, this wasn't the first time I had a bad platonic breakup :/

I often wonder if it is them, or is it me :/

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] angyllina.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-10-21 04:52 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-10-18 09:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baxaphobia.livejournal.com
Friendships...or so called friendships are so difficult. Sometimes you really don't know someone until an incident like you described happened. Sigh.

Date: 2009-10-18 10:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lijepanena.livejournal.com
Shit like that has happened to me, too. =(

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-10-22 01:13 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-10-21 01:57 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-10-18 10:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stormkitty.livejournal.com
Oh that sucks! Gah! I'm glad, though, that you walked away from her and didn't try to continue a friendship. You're better off without her.

Date: 2009-10-22 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
Thank you :) It would not have been worth trying to continue a friendship, for sure (you just don't treat people that way!!)

I hope this is okay - I added you to my friends list here. I like your writing, and you seem like a great person as well.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] stormkitty.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-10-22 01:44 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-10-18 11:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cacophonesque.livejournal.com
I just... I can't even comprehend why someone who was supposed to be a friend would act in such malice. It doesn't compute at all. Even if she didn't want to interact with you after that moment, why be so vicious?

Date: 2009-10-22 01:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
For a while, I tried to rationalize it as she was afraid of the other classmate (but even then, you don't do what she did!!).

Regardless, I'm glad she's out of my life.

Date: 2009-10-19 03:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jenandbronze.livejournal.com
OMG! That is *NOT* a friend at all!!!! Luckily, my friendships I still have and still keep in touch, especially my third year classmates. I was in the program for three years instead of one, for a variety of reasons. I need to call one I haven't heard ina while, whow as such an awesome gal during our class days.


Date: 2009-10-22 01:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
I agree with you. True friends are there for each other no matter what.

Date: 2009-10-19 08:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hug-machine.livejournal.com

Kids can be so cruel. Even fully 100% grown-up ones. I'm sorry you had such a falling out. *hug*

Date: 2009-10-22 01:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
*hugs* Thank you.

I'm finding that the 100% grown up "kids" are more common than realized!!!

Date: 2009-10-19 10:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mstrobel.livejournal.com
That bitch! I can't understand how anyone could be so horrible and dishonest. :(

Date: 2009-10-22 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
I don't understand, either. If she did not like me, she could have said something, or just let us drift away.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] mstrobel.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-10-22 12:43 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-10-19 02:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] photodiva02.livejournal.com
YOURS IS GOOD! I just finished mine. Hope my husband doesn't google my name! Eeep!

Date: 2009-10-22 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

I hope he doesn't either!!!!

Date: 2009-10-19 06:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] breakon87.livejournal.com
I am really sorry! People are really horrible at times.


Date: 2009-10-22 01:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
Thank you. *hugs*

Date: 2009-10-19 07:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meee-tooo.livejournal.com
She sounds horribly nasty. Your writing, however, is wonderful.

Date: 2009-10-22 01:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
She is nasty!!!

Thank you :)

Date: 2009-10-19 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] boxsofrain.livejournal.com
She sounds awful.

Date: 2009-10-22 01:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
She is awful.

Date: 2009-10-19 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] autovatic.livejournal.com
This entry really makes me think of this short graphic story:

The theme is right on.

Date: 2009-10-22 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
It is right on!!!

It is true that sometimes, you miss the idea of someone even when they aren't who you thought they were.

Date: 2009-10-20 03:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poppetawoppet.livejournal.com
WHAT a .... not nice person. I kind of hat the name Emmy right now and tht is my name...

Date: 2009-10-22 01:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
She was something else!!!

Date: 2009-10-20 05:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zia-narratora.livejournal.com
People are so inexplicably cruel sometimes. I am sorry. I don't know if I would have been able to hold my tongue with her husband.

Date: 2009-10-22 01:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
They can be very cruel!!!!

It was hard to keep my cool with her husband when I saw him in the parking lot last week!!!

Date: 2009-10-20 05:03 am (UTC)
shiverelectric: actually, no. i will not stfu (not stfu)
From: [personal profile] shiverelectric
Wow, that's so tragic to have happened! I've never known anyone to stoop so very low, and then to contiune acting as if they didn't totally stab you in the back! Good riddance to bad friends (though I've had my share of shedding bad friends).

Date: 2009-10-22 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
Yes - good riddance to bad friends!!!!

Date: 2009-10-20 08:06 pm (UTC)
shadowwolf13: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shadowwolf13
I don't think it's an inability to have a meaningful relationship, I think it's just an unfortunate chance of picking bad friends. I hope you find those who will stand beside you no matter what.

Date: 2009-10-22 01:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
I hope I'm able to find (the sometimes elusive) true friends, too. They make life so much easier, for sure.

Date: 2009-10-21 01:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com
Oh man, I can't even imagine going through that. How horrible. :/

Date: 2009-10-22 02:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
It was horrible :/ Not just what she did, but how now I wonder what it is about me that makes me incapable of having a decent interpersonal relationship of any kind.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-10-22 02:21 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-10-21 09:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] onda-bianca.livejournal.com
That is absolutely terrible.

Date: 2009-10-22 02:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
It was :/

Date: 2009-10-22 01:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kanaetkassad.livejournal.com
omg. pansy. so much anger at her for running away!

Date: 2009-10-23 02:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
I still have some anger at her!!

Date: 2009-10-22 03:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loved.livejournal.com
Wow. That's horrible of her. Some people can be so terrible and catty. I'd never want to see her again either.

Date: 2009-10-23 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
I hope I don't ever see her again!!!

Date: 2009-10-24 03:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/____hejira/
Girls can be so catty. *huggs*

Date: 2009-10-26 12:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
I'm finding that females of any age can be really catty. *hugs*

Date: 2009-10-26 01:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] java-fiend.livejournal.com
Wow. What kind of a sick person would take pleasure in doing what she did to you? All I can say is that karma can be a wicked, wicked lady and your "friend" will ultimately get what is coming to her. I'm so sorry that you had to endure that kind of pain and betrayal. It's just so wrong.

Date: 2009-10-26 02:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
I don't understand why she did it - even if there was a problem, there are other ways to deal with it.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] java-fiend.livejournal.com - Date: 2009-10-26 03:11 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2009-10-26 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gaea-rising.livejournal.com
Go you for seeing this incident for what it was and backing away immediately.

Date: 2009-10-30 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
Thank you.

Date: 2009-10-28 07:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scintillated.livejournal.com
*hugs* People suck...I'm sorry that that happened to you. I think that you and I have both been through our fair share of "friend drama." =/

Date: 2009-10-30 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] so-small.livejournal.com
*hugs* Friend drama really is the worst :/
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